winterminute

09:32 am: livejournal is dead...
long live the next internet fad.

05:00 pm:

03:48 pm: "Why does it come as a suprise to think I was so naive.
Maybe it didn't mean that much, but it ment everything to me."

04:20 am: You can't stop fate...
It's in my head, like a cawing crow. Why is this my fate? What did I do to deserve this? I'm going crazy. I have practically no close friends, I can't hold a stable relationship, or make enough money to actually be independent. Really though, the truth is fate hasn't fucked me over, I just made really bad decisions in life.

04:38 pm: I think I'm losing it. It took me an hour to find my old journal, road2atrocity. I had completely forgotten about it. And after further inspection, I realized I'm one strange fucker.

07:10 pm: Now my interview was postponed until tuesday of next week, because the Gamestop manager was ill. That's understandable but I had plans with friends which I'll now have to cancel. I'm sure they'll understand, I really want this job. Stupid waiting, stupid illness.

On unrelated issues, there's more going in my life but I'm afraid to deal with it. My drinking is a problem. It's affecting the lives around me. The week before last someone gave me a bloody nose because I turned into an asshole for no other reason than I was woken up from a drunken sleep. I desereved it. All was forgiven but I guess I didn't really learn my lesson. I think back to 5 years ago and how I hardly drank. Maybe once every other week, now it's almost a nightly routine to have a beer or three, and then a bottle or Whiskey once a week. I can blame the stress at work but I don't think that's it anymore.

07:36 pm: Afer months of bugging employers and looking for a job. I've got an interview at Gamestop tomorrow. I hope this turns in my favor.

12:34 am: Big Brother is Mocking You.
Apparently the local paper told me gasoline went down 2% last month. I must be crazy for not believing it. I must not have bought gas all of last month. By the way did you also know the unemployment rate has decreased. GO America!!!

01:38 am: I complain too much. I'm melodramatic, sort of. On top of that I (still) drink a lot. I'm not drunk now, and I'm not complaining. I'm just stating facts about myself. I should grow up a little, because I really don't think my life is all that bad.

12:42 am: So lately I've been applying for local jobs like mad. I can no longer afford to drive 25 miles to work, while paying rent, student loans, car payment, insurance, food and all that other crap that comes along with living on $9.75 an hour. Especially now with gas at $3.50 a gallon and that lately everyday at work now is a Monday. Meaning non stop calls all day everyday, becasue a greedy billion dollar company can figure out, in a months time, how to get an automated system working. I have a solution throw some money at the problem, I mean ding. Hopefully I can make a new job happen. Even though it sucks ass now, I'm still making 100% on my quality reports. So fuck you Texas.

12:31 pm: Hey everyone! Bet'cha didn't expect to see me post. Whats new is that I moved, I live in Donora. Things are going well. Strange writing on here again, I wonder if anyone still uses their livejournal?

01:09 am: I haven't updated in forever, sorry. I suppose things to suck to make me want to write. And of course, I don't feel like sharing details.

10:27 am: New Phone #
724-469-1993 Call me I would appriciate a good friend.

07:28 pm: About two days ago I realized I really miss my friends. Since that time period I must have attempted to contact everyone I wish to hear from, and I think I may be invisible or mute. Maybe it the living on my own thing, but really I can't remember how long it been since I had a good, long conversation with an old friend.

Bloody Holidays making me sappy.

Oh yeah, I hate christmas songs.

10:01 pm: That new house smell...
Who would have guessed it was old cat pee.

So I've been in my place for a week now. Though the last two days were quite dull. No TV channels, no computer, and no one to stop by. For the first in quite some time I had no idea what to do with myself. I tried watching some of the movies I bought months ago and never viewed, man do I buy some god-awful crap. Mad Max (the first one) kinda bites, I wasn't pure crap but the director didn't even bother to fucking finish it. It just stops once it's getting good, the wanker. Next was another imported Aussie flick "Encounter at ravens gate". About an alien invasion which had no aliens, I didn't quite understand...

This makes me almost dread reading some of the books I bought in the last few years.

01:27 am: Mon-City Ransom


PRESS START

01:24 pm: Moving
Saturday I will begin moving into my new/old apartment. I still don't have much packed to that will be done most of tomorrow after work and through out the night. The lord took care of most of the cleaning, so that save be alot of trouble, instead of the money.

In other news my cell phone is off, indefinately. I might reactivate it in December or January. Though right now with all the expences of moving I just can't float the bill so getting ahold of me may end up be somewhat problematic. Those of you who have my home number can leave me a message there, or can drop me a message here. I usually check this junk every two days or so.

Ok, off to work now.

12:13 am: Yesterday Jess surprised me a mix cd with a bunch of songs I never heard. I was so excited to get this. It was the coolest thing ever. I'm sure just about ever one who's reading has been given a mix cd/tape before. Except me, no one has every been so thoughtful to do so for me. What a nice gift.

10:19 pm: I went to talk to my old landlord today. I told him how I was interested in taking my old apartment back. It's actually $260.00 not $220.00, though that is still cheap as hell. Although I was right about on thing, Monkey trashed the place. Plenty of his things have been left abandoned, mostly useless junk. The carpets look fucked beyond saving, and Gary (Angel's old cat) made his territory known. There are a few holes in the wall nothing terrible that a simple poster or two can't fix.

I know one thing I can't deal with another winter in the basement. I think that might end up being the deciding factor here. You would think that 3 blankets could keep a person warm. I woke up shivering two nights in a row, and it's only mid-fall.

One plus happens to be, If I help Terry (landlord man) clean up the place he said that he will take it off of the rent. I told him I'll give him an answer in a week and a half, he seemed happy about that. This could be it, for once I might be finally out on my own. All I need to do know is work out my finances, and say the word.

02:11 pm: Living at home has it ups and its downs. The good thing is I don't have to pay for rent, all I really have to do is chores. Not having to wash my clothes is nice. My family is a big help with Angel. Though living in a cold dampened basement, lack of personal space, and lack privacy is a downer. That and when my sister and the kids visit everything kind of explodes, anyone whose been here on a Saturday knows what I mean by that.
Today I had to stop at my grandmothers house. On my way in, I had noticed that across the street was an apartment for rent. Not just any apartment, my old apartment. The same place I had regretted giving up to Melanie when we split many years ago. I guess the landlord finally got sick of Monkey. So of course bells start going off "Maybe I could move back there again..."
I might not be a bad Idea, I would only have to pay for rent and that is only $220.00 a month. The only reason I haven't moved out thus far is that A $350.00/$400.00 a month doesn't fit within my budget seeing that I have a car payment, and with basically no options for a roomate, this could possibly be ideal for me.
Though there are a few down sides of course, I know the last tennant didn't do much to take care of the place and had a lot of pets, which stank the place to high hell. I'm also pretty sure that the work that need to be done there would probably be intirely on me to take care of, I know the landlord and he wouldn't help with that I'm sure.
If I decide to act on this it will have to be soon. A place that cheap does not last much longer than a week in this town.